Growing up and finding yourself is all a game really when it comes down to it. There are moments in life where you feel you’ve got everything sussed, down to a T, perfecto, then something happens and changes that 5-minute ‘got my life sorted’ feeling.
I’ve found that learning about myself, for myself, has been quite a journey and its quite a relieving feeling when you feel you’ve actually got there, isn’t it? When you’ve got to that point where you feel utterly content, nothing but happiness and love for how your life is going. You feel you’ve pulled through the hard times and out the other end and everything that once sucked is now behind you, in the past. Until, one little thing happens and sends your once so settled mind spiralling out of control and you feel you’re back to square one. Sound familiar?
Once upon a time (or many ‘upon a times’) I’ve been to that place of contentment and felt like nothing could get it my way. Absolutely nada.
Everything felt smooth, like it was going the right way and it felt oh so good. In fact, it felt amazing to feel and say/think/feel “yeah, I’m content, happy and where I want to be”. It hadn’t been a common occurrence for me to feel that way, especially not during University and focusing all my time and energy on everything but myself. So, when this feeling does dawn upon me now and again, more often than it used to, I feel like I can accomplish anything. Then, the ‘impossible’ happens and takes that feeling away, like a stab in the back.
Although I didn’t want this post to get so deep into my personal thoughts, I feel it has to for it to make a real lot of sense. I know many people suffer with this loss of contentment like myself and it’s something I just needed to talk about. From conversations I’ve had to seeing comments similar to my point online, I know this is something that can happen more and more amongst this growing online generation.
One day you can wake up from a good sleep, get some good news, be in an unexplainable extremely good mood or simply have the sun shining and your life feels like its heading in the right direction. It’s happened to me many times and from that moment of contentment comes more good news, good moods and good moments and my mind tells me ‘This is it Megan, no more going back, your life is balanced, happy and will be nothing but this”. Then, one little second of bad news, seeing something online or anything that triggers your ‘not-so-great-head-space’ happens and that short-lived moment of being content is over. Gone. Stolen.
For me it can be the smallest of things that get me out of my short-lived moment of contentment. Its not usually the bigger things in life that I let bother me, let alone take away my feeling of satisfaction. It’s more so the small things, little nags and stupid things that get into my mind and won’t leave until it rids me of my good mood.
How to stop it? I’d love to know.
PHOTOGRAPHY BY SARAH ELLEN TREACHER – @sarahellen_photography
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One thing that has help and will always help me is to free my mind of my phone and as much technology as possible. I can hold my hands up and openly admit that things that I see online can affect me more than it should. I wish it didn’t but it does and there’s nothing I can do to stop those feelings or resentment every so often with things I can see online. All I can do is turn away from it for a little bit and focus on other things.
Sometimes I find myself reading something that touches a nerve and I find myself reading deeper and deeper into it. It can be as little as a tweet or a picture on Instagram and it can set my heart racing and my good mood has vanished. Why do I keep consuming it? Well, it’s a distraction isn’t it, social media. It’s a pastime that we all fall to when we’re bored. Its not just social media to blame, but that is my main trigger and I guess, the main issue a lot of us face when it comes to the negative feelings. I hear more and more how people are taking time away from the online world and in a way its sad, its sad people feel the need to do that, but I do it and you come out the other side feeling better, more content (pardon the pun). Until the next time that vicious cycle happens and it makes me feel not so content, hey?
If you’re on the same wavelength, have experienced the same loss of contentment from something so small, the best thing to do is say goodbye to that ‘thing’ that stole that great feeling and see if it comes running back. After all, there’s no point spending life dwindling on the little, very irritating, not so helpful things that life can throw at us.
A content life isn’t consistent, but it’s so good when it happens. So contentment, please come back and stay for longer next time.
Until then, love x
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